Tag Archives: emotion

Denied Access


A closed off world, no longer reachable by me. My brain, not wrapping around the intricate non-geometry–such an abstract plane. This same world used to play right into my hands, dancing on the fingertips of my misery, the fingertips unique to each different mystery. Now the mysteries go unsolved as the pen stops and so do my thoughts.


The locks won’t stop me from checking though. I’ll go down every alley until I can access that universe again–the one I used to get lost in, loved in, felt safe in. The one that accepted me when my family couldn’t, the one that filled the void when my own universe broke. I know it’s hidden away somewhere, I still have the key–I just can’t find the right lock.


The universe, the universe. Abundant indeed, always came to me in my time of need. I drowned in it without dying, frowned in it without crying, and was allowed to do what I want without my limits always lying. I want  to go back, if only it’d let me. Where is it now–why does my memory escape me?


I think I’ve found it–there was just a small piece missing. It turns out that every door was unlocked, I just didn’t have the strength to knock. I knocked them down and threw away the key–a very useless thing, trivial to me. Only strength of emotion can get me in–a happiness, sadness, anger, or frustration. I’ve made my own kind of key and will use it well, though honestly, only time will tell.


Unspeakable Emotion

When your eyes penetrate mine with that
Unspeakable emotion…
When your lips press onto mine with that
Undefinable touch…
When your hand brushes mine
And we both know what we mean, want, yearn
And yet cannot have.

You are the only one that understands.
So I know you know how I feel right now,
The night before your departure.

You know I’ll miss you
You know I’ll always be thinking about you
You know I’ll be loving you
And that distance doesn’t matter…
That we’ll both be looking at the same sky at 8.

My love and emotions overflow and become tears,
I haven’t cried this much in years.
The effect you have on me is something I once feared,
Now that I understand it, I don’t care.
I only want you near.

But tomorrow you have to do what you have to do,
And I can’t hold you so close anymore.
That’s fine as long as you come back safe,
With all limbs attached, no less no more.

I wish you good luck on your journey,
And a safe trip there and back.
I’ll be waiting here,
Forever yours, my dear.