Determined but caged inside the house is my soul. It’s trying so hard to break free and fly away but being brutally shot down by a sniper’s rifle every time. As terrifying as the unknown is, it is certainly less terrifying than the present, the horrible today. This is what I think everyday but do not say. This is what I pray to be rid of but this array of struggle after struggle is getting hard to deal with.
We are not whole, not us, no. We are not like him, her, a complete circle. We are broken and twisted, halved and split into two, into more than just us–into what they want. We are mercilessly beaten with an invisible baton, one of words, of emotions and taunting.
We are hated and taught to hate. We hate and teach to hate. The vicious cycle and circle (which, sadly, is more complete than us) continues on and on, drawn long and slow and endless and inevitably always going back to the starting point. Over and over…
I feel incredibly poetically free tonight. This is ironic because what caused this freedom of imagination and wording was being caged. Limited. Restricted. Confined. And back to the beginning, shot down. I guess something good can always come of something bad. In turn, something horrible can also come of something great.
Today started as a great day. I felt like I had true importance. I felt like a leader. I felt this way and was radiating this feeling and then I walked peacefully into the cage. What a mistake. As I walked in, whistling my happy tune, thinking all was well, I got caught like a deer in headlights. I was off-guard and I shouldn’t have been. We could just say this was all my fault as usual. It always is, isn’t it?
We can complain all we want in our human tongues spewing what we pass off as intelligence but in the end, these are just complaints. What we need to do is, well, do. Turn our words into actions and do something about our situation. We need to stay determined through it all and look on the bright side, penny-pinching the light until there really is no more. The thing is, there is never no more. Anyone can do anything, get through everything once their mind is set. The first step, though, is just that: getting set. And then we go.