Tag Archives: write

Of Course, Darling

Over and over and over and over,
Continuing the agony, burning the feeling into her hands,
Disconnected from her soul, that sour taste on her nails,

Opaque eyes, glazed over but in systematic motion,
Cracked lips, dry smile, always there at the turn,
Done but it’s not over, over, over, over,

Over, over, over, over,
Cringing at the angle of the rip in her heart,
Dancing around the edges, torn all apart,

On and off, lights of her mind,
Crackling with fire, the fire that went dark,

Dangling by a thread, all worn down, split into pieces,

Ought to stop now…
Can’t do it just yet,
Done – almost there – stopping – can’t – getting there – tiring bones out

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The Infinity Dreams Award

Sorry it took me so long to get to this and thank you (again) to Erika for nominating me!
(I honestly think this should be called the 11:11 Wish award or something, haha.)

Guidelines: 

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you
  2. Share eleven facts about yourself
  3. Answer the questions that were set for you to answer
  4. Nominate eleven bloggers and set questions for them

11 facts about me: 

  1. I’m extremely extroverted, and I get my energy from being around people. If I pulled an all-nighter and seem mopey, stick me in one of my groups of friends, and I’ll be hyped up in 2 minutes.
  2. I always put too much on my plate. Half-intentionally, half-unintentionally. Some call it impressive; I call it stupid.
  3. I’ve recently felt the flow of poetry through my veins again. I am back after a four month hiatus. Hurrah!
  4. I am happy. That is a great life achievement, I think… However fleeting that happiness is.
  5. This is really random but I like to play dress-up games a lot. Well, I like to play all games a lot, but I’ve stuck to this one really cute dress-up game on my phone in particular for a lot longer than I stick to most of my games on my PC.
  6. I smile at random strangers a lot–every single one I pass by–even if they seem anti-social or busy. I think it’s a good thing, but I’m really not sure.
  7. I see the world through rose-colored glasses. I see everything in a positive light. AKA I’m too trusting of the world and of people; I think everyone is innately good. I still think this is a positive quality regardless of what my parents say.
  8. Eight is my favorite number. Turn it sideways, and it’s infinity. Boop. (Get it? Infinity Awards. Please laugh.)
  9. I have a friend named Naing. It’s pronounced nine, and so I always give him a 9/10 rating. If I’m feeling extra generous, I give him a 9.9/10 rating.
  10. I have ten thousand worries every minute of the day. I need to relax more often.
  11. I make the same wish every single time I catch 11:11, whether it be morning or night.

Answers to the assigned questions:

1. If you could travel and explore a certain place in the world, which location would you choose?

Anywhere, as long as it’s with the one I love. England would be preferred though, haha. I might actually study abroad there at the University of Cambridge. Fingers crossed.

2. By the end of your life, what would you have wanted to have accomplished?

I have done one thing on my bucket list, and that is lead a protest. Oh, I’ve also MCed and made a roomful people face-palm at my puns ten times in one night. And, actually, I’ve also done some other things on my bucket list, but they’re a little sketchier so I’ll leave that up to your imagination. The other hundred are yet to be achieved, and I honestly don’t want to list them all out. Hopefully, my life will continue to be exciting though.

3. Do certain songs remind you of memories or certain times of your life?

Sort of, but I kind of always listen to songs throughout my life and not just in one period of time. I guess some specific ones do, but I can’t pinpoint any right now. Actually, there are some songs that have gotten me through rough times or allowed me to let me emotions out. One of them is Human by Christina Perri. The other songs are just a bunch of rock (which, by the way, is my favorite genre).

4. When we live our every-day lives, we will most likely come into contact with others, and in the long run, we impact those individual’s lives for better or for worse. So! Do you think that our society has been a good steward with such a power?

Yes and no. I’ve read up a lot about the sh*t going on in the world, and I’ve heard from those close to me about all the bad things that happen to them or around them. And I’ve experienced bad things myself of course. But on the other hand, I’ve experienced so many good things, met so many good people. I personally have faith in humanity, and I try to be the best human I can be.

5. Would you rather travel by plane or by train?

Plane, probably. Actually, I haven’t experienced a train yet. I honestly would not know until I experience both. Probably either one. I only get motion sickness in the car. I love plane rides and boat rides. I just don’t know about train rides.

6. What steps can you take to ultimately reach your dreams and goals?

Well, my ultimate goal is happiness, and I don’t want to get into the specifics of all my dreams and goals, so I’ll leave it at that. My steps to happiness… well I’m already working on that with a lot of effort, reflection, self-care, and half-hearted relaxation techniques (which may seem sort of contradictory, but whatever).

7. What are your top three most FAVORITE quotes?

#1 is from my About page: “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility” (William Wordsworth).

#2 is: “Always do what you are afraid to do” (Unknown). // “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life–and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do” (Georgia O’Keeffe).

#3 is: “Don’t let people make you feel bad or guilty for living your life. It is your life. Live it the way you want” (Unknown).

8. If you could eliminate one thing from your life, what would it be?

Fear.

9. Which do you prefer: a rainy day or a sunny day?

I like both. I prefer it sunny 75% of the time and rainy 25% of the time.

10. About what percent of your day do you spend on social media?

I spend pretty much all day connected to social media in some way, shape, or form. Unless I’m doing something where I really need to be in the moment like say a protest or an important class/lecture.

11. What’s your favorite game to play with a large amount of people?

Hot Seat or Never Have I Ever. Great for getting to know people. Mafia, cards, League, Terraria, or CounterStrike is fun too.

My nominees:

One of my best friends (I only have 2 right now you know), Wordsmith, …Et Cetera

And then everyone else, haha. I don’t like tagging people much. Feel free to do the 11 facts and 11 Q&A if you feel up for it.

Questions for the nominees:

Same as the above. I enjoyed answering them.

If you made it this far, thanks for sticking with me and listening to my boring life story! I hope to do more of these in the future. Thank you all again for reading!

Revolution

Your breath becomes sunlight as the rays strike,
I see you, I smell you, I take you.

Sprawled against the glass bed, dizzy head,
As the in-betweens crawl in, fingers all-in,
My head, the visual fantasy of white on white,
Blurry images of that silver earring, scaring
My heart to pieces, don’t shatter it,

The bed I mean.

Fragile yet sturdy
As she said, our own little fantasy.

Vitarthrite

Empty photographs of days gone by, tears run dry
as the ache in our wrists prevent us from thinking too hard
about the ache in our hearts, creaking and cringing
soothes our future-fearing, past-paralyzing

Selves that haven’t come full circle with the present
tense in our reluctant movements, so as to not break the fractured
joints, resting, passively sitting, non-action speaking volumes
about the days gone by, blood run dry

Unfinished business, settled,
We didn’t ask why,

Exclamation, that’s my point

A line and a dot can hold so much emotion,
In a second, a lonely phrase can cause so much commotion.
The line splits seconds into fragmented glass,
Pieces of the past coming in full blast.

Exclamations of amazement and wonder and abuse,
All come together in a collective pulse when the dot’s not misused.
It pushes emotion higher, inhibitions quite lowered,
For all that’s left is that last sprint forward.

Fast forward to that loud clap of thunder, a shock so unsettling,
A setting so amazing that a short period of time can really do nothing.
What we need is to exclaim, claim the bursting emotions,
Feel the fires churning, sail opaque oceans.

Touch the excitement coursing, grasp and empower,
Then exclaim to claim the pulsing burst that is ours!

Freedom

How is it that we can contradict so easily and hardly explain?

Your presence is a need and want but neither is because of the terrors you cause at night when my mind catches up with my heart.

As much as it wants to run away from the realities behind the emotions, it can’t control the waves of uncertainty and darkness taking over its too long denied fragility. What will become of me

when you take it all away?

So easy for you to forbid and ban and deny, but it isn’t that way for me when there are so many roadblocks placed in my life. So I lay low and crawl towards my goals instead of sprinting ahead towards the long craved sunrise.

Your blockade of my light won’t hold back my life, only slow it down, so what’s the point?

Pushing me to my breaking point is cruel and coming back with a hug and an apology won’t give me back my time, rewind my mind that already has lengthy songs of pain on replay,

I think sometimes of relaying these thoughts to you, running them through your head with a wire, reinforce the idea with a screw, but what use will it be when the wires are cut by you, all the effort thrown away, screwed.

I wish I could get through, shine the light that is truth, free myself of the burden, the contradictory thought that is you–

Drunken

I

Release of the spirit, coming back to haunt me with its incessant laughter, teasing my already too ticklish tummy, taunting my inner demons. Poking my emotional well-being, it turns and returns–pretending to play hide and seek when it can see in clear sight, but doesn’t relinquish the freedom sought. Instead, it controls me, releases my uncontrollable laughter turned tears, sweet salt of the afterthought when my semi-consciousness is no longer mine.

II

Intoxicating smells, the sight of your breathing, happiness within the message in a bottle sealed in your heart; sank to the depths of something or another. Like your eyes–pools of liquor to be swallowed by my soul, filling my spirit with the clashing madness of happy fear sad, wanting nothing but to be conscious for you but unable to come out of the semi-truck of a mind heavy with indistinguishable colors and pain remembered.

III

The swirling thoughts, imitating toxic water, burning fire through my eyes nose mouth, holes in my stomach, fingers sliding through the smooth ruptures, grabbing what is left of me to put into you. This is where we stand, wobbling on the edges of finite tangibility, to be gone, too soon to be. And just be.